I do not how to start. I do not know how to start because what is there to start when we never started in the first place. What is there to begin with when there is nothing to begin with and talk about? Or maybe, just maybe, there is something to talk about, but I never had the chance to blurt things out because I was never ready to tell our story – like you were never ready to be the man you once promised me. No, this is not a piece about the broken promises of our luck-forsaken love. It is about how you and I, no matter how much we tried, never met.
I had everything. And then you came. I almost lost everything – even the person I once was; the person you once wanted to spend the rest of your life with. To tell you frankly, you stole my identity. You actually took everything away from me. You taught me how a person so kind and so good has a chance of becoming a freaky-minded little monster never feeling anything except rage. You taught me how to isolate myself from the world and shut everybody out. You taught me how to hate people – even the most lovely ones. You gave me a chance to learn how to deviate my thoughts from everyone else’s, that no matter how much they tried, our minds never met.
Honestly though, I am grateful. Along with these evil changes you have brought me, you opened the possibility of me turning into someone not better, but stronger – someone a lot stronger than who I was before. You taught me how to care for myself much more than I did for other people. You made me turn my beliefs into something outside the norm. I started to stray away from the crowd so I could not betray my own feelings. I started hating everything they love and loving everything they hate. I started to wander and diverge from what society expects every person like me to be. You see, even the world, no matter how much it tried, is having a hard time to meet me.
This is a project for my Legal English subject for law school. Imagine I had to wait for this moment, for this project, just so I could tell you what you have done to me the day you went missing. The five hundred words as minimum are not even enough to let you know the misery you have caused me. Imagine what I had to go through just to forget the pain, and remember it again.
I remember everything – every little thing from where I was standing before up until where I am standing still. From where we stood before since the day we met and where I stood after since the day you left. From when how I thought you were the one until when how I realized that we all thought there was ‘that’ one. From when I started to learn how to open doors until when I started to never open even windows. From when I thought you loved me until when I realized that maybe, yes, you did, but you were just not ready.
We were parallel lines – exactly in front of each other, but can never be together; always face to face, but never side by side. A failed assentio mentium – there was never a meeting of our minds.